How do you feel when you look in the mirror?
When I look in the mirror ( I love my full length mirror) I feel good.
This is life talking and, as we age, we get wiser ( Thank God).
But there was a time when, forget looking in the mirror, I hated going out. Those were the years that I was growing up as a little girl till about the age of sixteen. With cousins ( one cousin whom I always admired) and friends who were very pretty, feminine and always in good clothes, I felt miserable. I was always made fun of by particular people in my life and hated my life. I was quite overweight and my mum hated it but had no choice, so took me clothes shopping to the boys section most of the time. She felt bad and kept telling me to lose weight and the importance of looking good.
At one time, she also mentioned to me that "you won't get married if you don't lose weight". I always admired mum, and still remember how she used to love dressing up. Even when she retired, she would get ready and sit at home and upon once asking her "Mama are you going out? Why are you getting ready?", she replied,"I'm not going anywhere darling, I'm getting ready because I want to feel good about myself all the time".
When I was about sixteen, due to something that happened in my life, I shut myself away from everyone for 2 months and lost about 20 kilos with eating one meal a day and exercising for 5 hours in a day.
When I came out on the 60th day ( this was exactly 2 months later) from my room dressed in a tight red top with a waist of 25 inches from a waist that was 34 inches, mum was very ecstatic; Dad was happy too, but he didn't show it.
I was obsessed about how I looked suddenly!
From an overweight 80 Kilos I came down to 61 kilos and then something happened. I was so crazy that it lead to Bulimia and Anorexia, and It went on till I was 20. I knew I needed help, but I did not where to go. From a healthy young girl, I turned into a skinny girl of 49 kilos.
From 16 till 20, losing weight, anorexia and Bulimia, it had caused a lot of damage. The sparkling white teeth were now slightly yellow, I had a damaged liver so even if I tried to eat I couldn't, I had hair that was thinning out, I had sever hormonal problems and I was always in search of something and couldn't find it.
On one particular day, it hit me, that I wanted to get married someday and have kids, but would I be able to with my bad health? And that changed my life.
Today at 27, I've got 2 little boys aged 3 and 2 whom I love the most in the world and Thank God for them (touchwood). I love my food, but I burn it off sometimes and sometimes I just say "life's too short too worry about 200 extra calories". It's ok!
Why did I write this today?
We all have a person we admire and want to be like, whether it be a model, actor, actress, it's important to know that we are individuals we shouldn't lose out who we are by trying to be them.
Use style to create your own personality. Don't worry if the clothes don't fit. There are many more brands that are tailored for you.
For all those who know someone out there who have eating disorder, It's important to let them know they will be loved regardless of their shape, and being healthy is the key to living life.
Love,
Tina
P.s Love yourself for who you are!
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